FIRST?

BS"D


I have been meaning to write for some time about my possibly being the first woman to write a Sefer Torah. I may in fact, not be that woman & that's cool.

I've strongly encouraged Kadima, journalists, radio hosts, TV folks & film makers who I have encountered more & more frequently to *not* make this claim on my behalf. Why? Well, because despite all the research done by me & a team of rabbis, sofrim & academics (including historians, anthropologists & museum curators), we have found very little evidence that there has ever been a female Torah scibe, *but just because we haven't found her, doesn't mean she never existed*. So since we will probably not be able to proove she never existed, that means I can never confidently claim to be the first.

But as I said, I'm ok with that.

I did not pursue this dream so that I could become famous, or so that people would be jealous of me, or so that I would become rich, or *any other* reason aside from this: I have believed since I was a child that I was meant to do this work.
So G@d put me in a female body - what that means is that I have had to spend years learning Torah for it's own sake & along the way pray that I found Halakhic permission for women to write. It means that many people placed multiple barriers in my path. It means that I couldn't just sign up for a class in B'nei B'raq the way men like my Sofer did & learn sofrut quickly & cheaply. It also means that I had to soul-search to make sure that I would do this work *as a mitzvah*, as it deserves, because I would get all sorts of attention & opportunites that a male sofer would not & I didn't want those things to pull me off centre. It also means that I would need support from many people to help me achieve my dream, my goal, my MITZVAH MEYUCHEDET. & I did, thank G@d :) bless 'em...

The only reason why "first" is important is because it allows the previously closed door to be cracked open a little, should others wish to follow. It facilitates the next one & the next one & the next one. It is not - or at least should not be treated as - a position of fame, but one of service. The next woman who wants to become a soferet will have fewer outside obstacles than I did & that is a brakhah. & yes, I do wish to take on students in the future, but not until I finish this Sefer Torah :) it's a serious thing to mentor a person to become a sofer, & until I feel worthy to pass this on to another, I will keep working on my Self. Students deserve the *best* a teacher can give tham. Always.

All this being said, I hope I don't come off sounding bitter - I'm just very, very tired :)
& grateful to the Holy One for making everything possible, in the right time, ameyn.

My next plan is to blog about some women I have researched who I *suspect* may have written or repaired Sifrei in the past. I really do want to share this information with the world because a) it's real & b) it shouldn't be a secret & c) I would prefer to establish that there was in fact a tradition of female scribes *rather* than establish that I am the first one. I'm not so invested in being first. People who stand to make money off of associating with me *are* invested in making this claim, so just for the record, I'M JUST HAPPY TO BE WRITING A TORAH & I DO NOT FEEL THREATENED THAT A WOMAN MAY HAVE DONE THIS BEFORE.

Should that have been all in caps? I don't want a "methinks the lady doth protest too much" situation here...

But anyway, if I (or anyone) discovers that a woman has written a Sefer Torah before me, then what we need to do is *honour* that woman! Because either she had to do it in secret or in drag or her name was hidden from generations of Jews who came after her. She deserves that recognition.

At least I had the privilege of doing this publicly, in a dress & my name will not be erased from Israel, B"H.

So as much as I was threatened & blocked, & harassed, etc, the bottom line is that I'm still writing, thank G@d, & someday soon, other women will be too!

In the meantime, pray for the peace of Jerusalem, that our various Jewish factions don't draw their lines *quite* so deeply in the sand.