BS"D

INHALE...

An important diary entry I neglected to make at the time:

January 28th 2004/5 Shvat 5764 - Parshat Sh'mot
I woke that morning, knowing that THIS was the morning. I wanted to procrastinate. I washed, dressed & davened shachrit. I'd been to miqveh already, so I took a thorough shower, followed by yoga. I meditated on the Alefbet, trying to be present with the essence of each letter. To bring their strength with me. I approached my writing table with trepidation, wondering why I didn't feel more joy, after a lifetime bringing me to this point. I sat before the clean, bare qlaf, perfectly scored. Line after blank line I must fill with the word of G@d. I tried to empty my self in order to be a vessel for this holiness. I still wanted to procrastinate. I sharpened the edge on my quill. I shifted in my chair. I made some tea. I was procrastinating.
I dipped my quill. It was sharp, full of ink & there was really nothing else left to do. I recited the statement that I was writing this Sefer Torah for the sake of Heaven. I exhaled. I looked into my tiqun for the word, the first word I would write. It was "Vayir'u" - "And they saw". I pronounced the word. I was terrified. I leaned forward & named each letter as I wrote it: "Vav...Yud...Resh...Alef...Vav."
I exhaled.

SO much has transpired since I last wrote. I completed my first Megilat Esther, with G@d's help. It taught me so much & I am deeply grateful.
I'll fill these pages, bli neder, with life now that I'm recovered from Purim :)
G@d is great!