BS"D

GESTATION

Watched "Fiddler on the Roof" late into the night. Renewed some of my hopes & dreams. When I was 3 years old I wanted to be like Tevye when I grew up & I still do. Reminded me of my truths & capabilities. I feel re-oriented.
Re-Jew-venated.
:)
It's been a long haul. I've worked very hard to maintain my groundedness in this process, to keep my kavanah (intention) high & true & honest.
Each word, each letter, each stroke. Black on white. Strength on kindness.
It's all fire.
To say each word. To name each letter. To breathe.
I have felt only slightly tethered to the Earth, like a balloon blowing about its stake, at times drawing near to its base & always threatening to loose itself. I sleep, I pray, I run, I wash, I eat, I write. This is my life.
A beautiful, blessèd life, thank G@d.
But I require further cementing into this very real & very new life as ritual scribe.
As Soferet.
My Ayins are random. some have gaping jaws while others their crowns tangle up in each other. Even when I make their tails long enough, they always are threatened by the following letter: Mem Sofit, Bet, Nun...
& I've noticed that when a Khaf is followed by a Vav, it can look, at first glance, like a Mem without its bridge. My spacing needs work - this will help immeasurably. My work looks much better in cases where Yuds are followed by Nuns (they don't look like Tzadis anymore), & my script has become more square & is beginning to take on a bit of life, find its own voice...
Still trying to befriend Alef, though.
Shabbat Shalom, chaverim